Lee’s story: Dealing with depression and finding evenness with medical cannabis

Could you tell us a bit about your condition and life before becoming a medical cannabis patient?

The depression or, it was originally diagnosed as simply a low mood, some 12-13 years ago. I'd been working in education and I just felt ill, and I had a mini meltdown. I just needed help. 

And my mental health deteriorated quite rapidly. My whole persona kind of changed, and I became very unpleasant for a period of time. I ended up being arrested, and then I needed a psychiatric report. When I came out of prison, the depression was still there, but I also had a bout of anxiety as well. I literally started my life again with the clothes I was standing up in.

What treatments were you prescribed for depression?

I was originally prescribed anti-depressants, and I was sent to cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), which at the time I didn't particularly enjoy. Anti-depressants helped keep me stable. So, even after all of that, I went through suicide ideations and things like that, but when I was in prison, that regime helped settle me and readjust me. But when I came out of prison, I started again from absolutely nothing at a very, very low point.

I started using cannabis recreationally, and I noticed that did actually help significantly - it was stabilising. I've used it periodically, buying it off the street on and off for a few years, and I switched to vaping. But I never imagined that there would be a legal, supported route for me to go down. 

How did you find out about Releaf?

When I bought a new vape, which was fantastic, medical cannabis started to appear in my social media feeds. And Releaf was the one that stood out as being more professional. There was a sense of professionalism and support that was really helpful in terms of getting me ready for it. 

How did you find the consultation process?

I was very nervous before the consultation, nervous about sharing my medical records, not sure if this is entirely legitimate, but that first consultation was incredible.

I came out thinking it was really supportive, talking about my condition, how it can help, and having that discussion properly with a medical practitioner was kind of life-changing from that point of view.

I found the process amazing. This is legit. This is real, genuine. I feel like I've been eating brisket for most of my life, and I've been offered fillet steak for the first time. That's genuinely what it feels like. I can't believe I've got to this point where there is support, people who listen, talk professionally about your conditions, and the quality of the product is exceptionally high.

What I particularly liked about my first consultation was the fact that the doctor was able to link specific aspects of the medical cannabis to specific conditions, which is what I'd kind of been doing anyway. So to have that reflected back to me in a medical way was probably the most reassuring moment.

How would you compare the product you get through Releaf to that you were using recreationally?

Taking street weed recreationally it was a potluck. It was a lucky draw. You didn't know what you were getting, what it had been treated with, or if it had been sprayed with synthetic THC. I really didn't like that. I also didn't like dealing with dodgy people. Using recreationally, I was keen to get away from that.

As soon as I got my first delivery and saw the product, I was very pleased. You can feel the care taken in growing, cultivating, packing, and every aspect of preparing that flower. It was mindblowing when I opened the lid. In terms of what I had been getting through other means, it's absolutely incomparable. 

How would you say medical cannabis has impacted your life?

So part of my background in education was working in digital media and music. There's a thing called a compressor in music, which makes the loud noises quieter and the quiet noises louder - and that's what anti-depressants do for mood. It simply takes off the extremes of the sensations, and I have managed with that condition for 10 years or so on the antidepressants. 

But there are periods where there's kind of a breakout, and there are particularly stressful periods or particularly anxious periods where the feeling of dread and the feeling of being unable to cope becomes quite overwhelming, and at those times the cannabis actually just brings back that evenness, and I feel like I can cope with anything.

I retired from education on ill health grounds, and my mental health was a big part of that. But I am still involved creatively. With cannabis, the morning focus is significantly extended. But I know the cut-off point where it flips from being motivating and productive to being apathetic. It's very individual. So, I’ve had to have that experience to then develop my own regime of when and where it suits.

Have you had any conversations with people close to you about medical cannabis?

Yeah. I’ve shown it to a few people, like my brother. I've got a couple of old college buddies, as well, that I've had those conversations with. Everybody has the same reaction when they see the flower and smell the flower. There is a genuine surprise from everybody I've shown it to. Most people assume it must be in a derivative form like tablets, rather than dried flower.

Have you encountered any challenges or stigma since becoming a medical cannabis patient?

I have a neighbour who really doesn't like cannabis. But he knows that I take it medicinally and keeps saying he's never smelled it with me. I only vape indoors in a ventilated room. It doesn't linger, and I keep everything packed. He's quite happy with me on that basis. That's been easier than I thought. 

I think he would benefit greatly from it himself because he's had a stroke, arthritis in his knees, struggles with mobility, and is in a lot of pain. And he's actually started asking some questions.

Looking ahead to the coming months, what are you hoping to do?

My next review with my GP, I will be saying I want to reduce and come off these other anti-depressants. They have provided some stability for me, but at times of particular stress, it breaks. That's when I was leaning on cannabis as a support. 

My parents both passed away recently, and during that period, I was taking it more regularly. But now I've made this switch to medical cannabis, after Christmas and the anniversary of when it all started, I think I'm going to be okay, and I'll probably gently drift away from it as I have in the past. In the meantime, I want to share about it with anyone prepared to listen.

If you would like to learn more about medical cannabis treatment options for the conditions mentioned in this Patient Story, please see medical cannabis for depression.