Sam’s story: From panic attacks at 15, to peace of mind at 51

Can you walk us through the health journey that brought you to Releaf?

My first panic attack hit at age 15, but there was just no support or even true understanding for those things back then. My parents were children of the 50s and 60s, and they just didn't have the tools to deal with mental health issues like we do now.

So I neglected it until I was maybe 18 or 19. I was going backwards and forwards to my GP with vague illnesses, severe headaches, pains I couldn't explain, and insomnia. It took my GP to actually say, "Look, Sam, I think you might be experiencing some depressive and anxiety-based issues." But rather than getting to the crux of the problem, I was just put on antidepressants and left to deal with it. Not very well, I hasten to add.

What were the years on antidepressants like for you?

From 17 to maybe 27, when I decided it was time to have a baby, I was on fluoxetine, Prozac. I did see some improvement, but not the improvement in my personality that was being taken away with my anxiety and depression. 

I had my baby, and that seemed to make life a lot better. For a time, anyway. Then the black dog started to scratch at the door again, so I went straight back to the doctors. I asked if I could possibly get some therapy, but unfortunately, this was 20 to 25 years ago. We simply didn't have access to therapy. We didn't have access to anything online, let alone someone face to face.

So again, I just got my head down and got on with it. I was put on Prozac again and yo-yoed for a good seven or eight years, then went back to the doctors and was put on sertraline. I found the more SSRIs that were pumped into my system, the more muted I became. I didn't have a sad mode, but I also never felt truly happy. I was completely levelled and mute as far as emotion was concerned. 

When did things start to change for you?

Honestly, when I first started self-medicating with cannabis. I found it literally saved my life. A lot of plant medicines have saved my life.

So when I found out about Releaf and the medical cannabis option, it just made sense. I don't like to think that I have to break the law to look after my mental and physical health. I'm deep in the menopause at the minute, and if it wasn't for the medical cannabis, I could have potentially had the darkest thoughts that we can have. 

I'm also suffering from gluteal tendinopathy in my hips, because of the beautiful gift that nature gives us in the menopause, and I'm finding that it's easing my pain. My hips are literally on the edge of being pain free. That started to happen maybe about 3 weeks ago.

Where did you first learn that medical cannabis was a legal treatment route?

When my sister-in-law broke her back about seven or eight years ago, she was put on the strongest pharmaceutical medications: codeine, morphine, naproxen, tramadol. 

She was becoming addicted, and it was actually her brother in law who searched the web to see if there was anything natural that could help her. I'd already been self-medicating with street cannabis for a while at that point, and suggested she try it, and it was her brother in law who found the medical cannabis route. 

Since starting with Releaf, how have you found the treatment?

It's fantastic. It's made me feel much more at ease with using cannabis. To have it legally accessible, it's almost taken the shroud of illegality away. It's a horrible feeling using a plant medicine, knowing that the police can knock on your door any time. I know they rarely do, however, that feeling is gone now. So it's given me a huge peace of mind, knowing I can legally use something that nature provided. 

It really has given me such a boost in my peace of mind.

Has medical cannabis made a difference to your menopause symptoms?

Yes, it's helped a lot in some ways, but not for all of the symptoms. The dreaded sweats, I think the menopause is just a ride we've got to ride. We don't have a choice, and I think using HRT is somewhat delaying the inevitable. I'm a big advocate for women getting to know their bodies. The night sweats are just something we have to deal with, and being a bit sweaty isn't necessarily life-changing.

It's definitely helped with my hips, and it's definitely helped with my mood. That's the one thing I was really struggling with as far as the menopause is concerned. The latest strain I've been getting on prescription is levelling out my mood.

And on the anxiety side, what difference have you noticed? 

My last panic attack prior to being with Releaf was around Christmas time. Prior to that, I would maybe have three or four a year. I run on anxiety. I'm just a naturally anxious person, a great overthinker. All of the nodes of anxiety exist in my little head. 

But panic attacks, there were maybe three or four a year. I've not had one this year, since starting with Releaf. I feel positive that I'm on track now, so I don't expect to have another panic attack, touch wood.

How and when do you take your medication?

I don’t usually dose before 2pm, as I find I don’t really need it before then. Some days, I have a very small vaped dose of flower between 3 and 5 pm, a little bit between 7 and 9 pm, and then a little bit between 11 pm and bedtime.

 I'm an insomniac as well, so I can take it up to bed with me. With the dry herb vape, it doesn't make the house stink at all. I'm sleeping much more deeply. I'm not necessarily falling asleep sooner, but when I'm sleeping, I'm getting proper REM sleep now, which is great.

Have you been open with friends and family about your treatment? 

Absolutely. You've probably got the gist of what kind of person I am. I have never in my life hidden the fact that I use cannabis and plant medicines. It's part of the work I'm doing with the herbal tea company. I've never hidden it from anyone.

I work in the tattoo industry, and I used to be a nurse before that. You would be amazed at the number of people who work in the health care industry who are open to the idea of plant medicines, especially cannabis.

The jobs I've been in, and I'm in now, they're quite a liberated group of people, certainly nurses and tattoo artists. So I've never needed to keep it covert. I think it's important that people don't feel ashamed of using a plant medicine.

If a friend was contemplating medical cannabis treatment and asked for your advice, what would you tell them?

I’d say, “Absolutely, go for it!”  

Trust your intuition. If pharmaceuticals aren't working for people, and for the majority of people who use medical cannabis for anxiety and depressive states and mental health issues, I can't think of anything better. I found that SSRI’s just muted me. I'd advise people to be a little more open-minded when it comes to their bodies and their health. 

Just because you've seen a GP and just because it's got a label on it does not necessarily mean it's going to work for you.

I don't doubt that modern medicine does work. That said, natural plant medicine also works, and it hasn't had the publicity it needs. I think that the more people start to understand, accept, and begin treatment with plant medicines, the more liberated and healthy they may become.

So, I'd say look outside the box and become a little more open when it comes to the medicines you take.

For more information on how medical cannabis may support patients with anxiety, visit our dedicated page on medical cannabis for anxiety.